Nerdz yo. Nerdz

aight i gotta find mah boy yo. im worried... i never thought id be worried abt hiz dumass but damn. that mofo is startin ta grow on me. he done stole dat crackaz chocobo and i done stole his lewt and we gotsta spend all of diz cheddah on sum booze baby! where would a goblin go to hide hiz prize? somewhere far from bastok holla! where would P-Dog go? fukkin IN bastok. idiot.



TBG>> i gotta find dis cat. good thing i blend in wit da darkness.
TBG>> hmmm i guess i could check out da slums. i know some peeps there. lesseee....


TBG searches the slums and finds no signs of chocobos or P-Dog. suddenly by the chocobo stables on his way out he hears some voices.

Nerd>> im l33t! gimme ur chocobo! i need to be uber ski11z! LOL
P-Dog>> no! stay away!
Nerd>> give to me TEH choco! it i$ myne! i have 5,000,000,000gil and 1 am rank10 n00b! N00BBB!!! LMAO
P-Dog>> what are you saying...it makes no sense!
Nerd>> omfg n00b! ur such a n00b! nooblet!! im better than u! i am rank 10!!!
P-Dog>> so what? its mine i stole it! get away your acne is burning my skin!!!!


TBG kicks the door down!


TBG>> you bessa back da hell off punkazz.
Nerd>> LOLZ LOLZ its a n00bathon!! ur not l33t like me! im rank 10 level 75!! ALL J0BZ! 1 w1ll haxxorz joo!! LOLZ
TBG>> boy get da mess away frum da P-Dog before you get niggity knocked the fuk owt!
Nerd>> MOOOOOMMM!!! HEELLLPPP!!!!!
Mom>> get away from my son! stop picking on him! he the coolest kid in school!!!!
TBG>> wtf! you a fine ass mom ;)
Mom>> huh.... get away you....BLACK MAN!!
TBG>> dont hate baby. give in to yo need fo da dark milk chocolate...
Nerd>> ZOMG!! st0p talk1ng to my mommy like that! im rank 10!!! i have more gilz than joo!!
TBG>> im boutsta woop yo azz boy holla!
P-Dog>> ( my head is hurting....what the hell are they saying....)
Mom>> dark chocolate?? are you....the.....milf hunter??
TBG>> s'right baby n im boutsta hunt you~
Mom>> mmm ive never had dark chocolate....
Nerd>> NO MOM WHAT ABOUT DAD!!!! WHAT AB0UT MY RANK 10!!! YOU HAVE TO PAY MY MONTHLY B1LL M0M I NEED TO BE L33T!!!!!!
TBG>> come a lil closa.. i promise ill be gentle wit u baby.
Mom>> i hear black men are...well.....endowed....
TBG>> and i hear you be wantin ta find owt.
Nerd>> joo are goink d0wn 1 am l33t! i am haxxorz joo! i am rank 10!! i am better!
P-Dog>> SHUT THE FUCK UP YOU GODDAMN RETARD!!!


P-Dog jams a rusty bucket in the nerd's eye!
Nerd takes 76 damage


Nerd>> IM TELLING!!!!! GM! GM!!!!! ZOMG L33T IM L33T!!!


P-Dog takes a baseball bat to the nerd's left temple!
Nerd takes 92 damage

Nerd>> haxx...oorzzz...l33...

P-Dog kicks Nerd in his mouth!
Nerd takes 60 damage

Nerd>> l3...3t....

P-Dog rips his hand through the nerd's chest grasping his heart.
P-Dog slides his heart along a cheese grater.
P-Dog then proceeds to remove the nerd's spine through the cavity in his chest in one of the most violent and painful manners one could remove a spine.
Nerd takes 34,874,083 damage.
Nerd is disconnecting.....

P-Dog>> FINALLY! GOOD GOD! I HATE THOSE FUCKING NERDS!
Nerd>> l...3.......3...t....
P-Dog>>AAUUUUGGGGHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

P-Dog's head explodes.
P-Dog falls to the ground....lifeless....


TBG>> damn yo...
Mom>> wow...
TBG>> yo lets go to my moghouse baby.
Mom>> is it true once you go black you never go back?
TBG>> baby when i get thru wit u yo husband gonna feel like he throwin a hotdog down a hallway holla!!!!
Mom>> YAY!!!



Holla!! if derz one thing TBG like mo den a taru slut itz a MILF!! dey man juz dont cut it no mo cuz he iz old and sorry. plus we all know dem whyte boyz iz hung like a taru fa sho! oh....P-Dog? nah he'll be aight. i gotta give it to dis mama if ya know what i meeeeennnn!!! holla back! shes boutsta feel da TBG! if her man walks in imma use da flee!! we all know she gun be lovin mah bee!! cuz itz built like da trunk o dat tree!!! holllaaaa in da hizzleee!!!! im bizzy boutsta jizzle on diz mizzle julooda maaahhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! weeeesssiiideeeee!!!!! Crips fo life!!!!!

What it iz foo!

Aight so dis is da dilly, in my expertizzle i can tell P-Dog had got some pimp hidden up inside him. its a fack. so wut we needsta do is bring dat inner pimp outta him. frum my own personal essperince i seen dat when u put a mofo in a rough situation dey tend ta get a lil cra-Z in herrrr nahmeen?? forcin his mofo azz to respond with da powers of da pimp unseen by da crackas 'n' dem lil nerds 'n' shit. so where did i take mah boy to get his powerz unlocked? bastok! home of da whyte people. yea yea der iz some galkas sprinkled around here n der but all in all its juz white people doin da slavery thing again but wit people 3 times they size. i dunno how dey do it yo but i give em props for pullin it off. again. white people.



P-Dog>> where we going TBG?
TBG>> to mah hood in bastok foo.
P-Dog>> why? whats there?
TBG>> ill tell you when we get there. stop axin so many damn st00pid questions muh fuckah.
P-Dog>> sir, yes sir, sorry sir!
TBG>> good god P-Dog remind me why i chill wit you again.
P-Dog>> cuz I iz fly *Bzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz bzz bzzzz*


TBG kicks P-Dog dead in hiz teef yo!!
P-Dog takes 90 damage.



P-Dog>> *muffled* my teerf aww what tvhe thuck?!
TBG>> you fukkin imitaded a damn fly P-Dog. why would u do dat?
P-Dog>> cuz... i thought i wuz fly...*wipes mouth*
TBG>> no P-Dog. AND STOP WIPING UR MOUF ON YO THREADS!! damn now you got mad azz blood on yo shit.
P-Dog>> ill just say i capped some white mofo with my nine milly!! crap crap crap!!!


TBG slaps P-Dog aside da face!
P-Dog takes 45 damage


TBG>> im losin fayth in you dog. im losin fayth.
P-Dog>> im sorry TBG. i just miss my friends smitty and mr. beeington and im over here trying to be a pimp cuz i wanna show smitty how cool i can be.
TBG>> well you doin a shitty azz job wit dem shit ass wordz u be usin yo. stop being so wack!
P-Dog>> ok ok ill stop.
TBG>> good. look we iz already here foo. we gun wait till night den we gonna sneak in and i want you to rob a white boy of his chocobo aight?
P-Dog>> huh? why?


TBG stares blankly at P-Dog...


P-Dog>> yes sir! sorry sir!
TBG>> dats mo like it!


TBG and P-Dog wait until nightfall. suddenly the thump thump thump of a chocobo running can be heard heading thier way.

P-Dog jumps out in front of it!


P-Dog>> oh snap! dont run me over!!!!
Cracka>> woahhh!!!
P-Dog>> im sorry can you help me?
Cracka>> we dont take kindly to your kind around here.
P-Dog>> uh huh....yea, i just need directions...
Cracka>> well I'd be careful where ah wander off ta'. someone might not take to kindly to your kind.
P-Dog>> well i dont take kindly to people not taking kindly to people. Cracka>> ...I...hmm..
P-Dog>> anyway i was.... oh wow nice chocobo!
Cracka>> thanks ah raised it mahself with mah family in our farms. shes a beauty ain't she?
P-Dog>> yea shes great can i sit on her? maybe take her for a quick jog?
Cracka>> ah 'spose you can test her out for yourself. juz don't go gettin crazy now I know how you people can be.
P-Dog>> what the hell is that supposed to mean? yo.


P-Dog mounts Gale Chocolat.


TBG>> BOUNCE! dat dumb ass white boy let you get on his bird yo! haul ass! run P-Dog!!!
P-Dog>> oh dip! diggty doooo!!!!!


P-Dog takes off with da st00pid cracka's chocobo.


Cracka>> hey shes mine! bring me back my baby!! you there! black man! give me back my chocobo!
TBG>> nah foo shez mine now biotch! she gun be gettin dicked-up by all my boyz chocobos like woah! TRAIN TRAIN!!! gang bangs baby!
Cracka>> NNUUOOOOHHHH!!!!!
TBG>> err damn black chocobo in da city of sandy gonna get up in her and yell HOLLAA!!!!!
Cracka>> thats it you're dead!!!


Cracka attacks TBG with his whip!
TBG takes 10 damage.


TBG>> hahahaha you weak foo you weak! mah gear blockz 90% of white people holla back!
Cracka>> oh yea?


Cracka uses call.
10 white people appear!!


TBG>> oh snap...
Cracka>> thats right you better snap. snap away. snap for your life.

white guys 1-10 attack TBG!
TBG suffers 110 damage and has a strange desire to say yesah massa!


TBG>> yes...masss..... NO! I MUST WHOOP DEEZ NIGGAZ!!
Cracka>> muahahaha we always travel in groups. we know you people just want our shoes.
TBG>> you aint won yet mofo!


white guys 1-10 attack!
TBG suffers 96 damage and suddenly feels like working in fields and/or mines.


TBG>> nurgh! *TBG falls to one knee*
Cracka>> SUBMIT!!


TBG stands slowly. His head lowered. He begins opening his cellie.

Cracka>> what are you doing?! work for me now! work without pay!


TBG begins dialing a number..."My Cousins"
TBG's cousins appear!


Cracka>> OH NO!
TBG>> yo deez crackaz iz tryin to punk me whoop dey ass yo.
Cousins>> holla.


Cousins attack!!
Cracka's white boys vanish!


Cracka>> this cannot be... you stole my chocobo you beat up my allies against the darkies and now you seek to destroy me...
TBG>> holla. you is bizzy boutsta get yo ass beat son.
Cracka>> you'll pay for this someday TBG. someday!!!!
TBG>> white boyz. *shakes head* ya'll neva learn when you get beat to stfu.


TBG and hiz cousin's jump dat cracka muh fuckah!
Cracka suffers 3426 points of damage
Cracka falls to level 29
Cracka drops Wallet
Cracka drops l00t
Cracka drops New Kicks
Cracka drops Credit Card +2
Cracka drops 10384 gil
Cracka drops House Key


TBG>> holla back! i love jackin deez white boyz fo dey shit nahmeen?!
Cousins>> holla! lata TBG.


TBG's Cousins disappear..


TBG>> now i gotta find da P-Dog. where da hell did dat mofo run off too...


Holla back youngin' wewt wewt!! erbody should jack a white boy at least once in they lyfe nahmeen?? dem mofoz is soo st00pid yo! dey carry all they shit on dem like the world is botta end or sum shiet and den they wonder why nikkaz like me iz always robbin they azzes LOLZ!! slow azz mofoz!!!! but on da real i gotta find P-Dog. hes a dum azz mofo and i know hiz ass is lost in da wrong part of town by now. shieeettttt. holla back!!!! I'm owtie fo showtie!!!!

Time to Bounce Yo!

When we left off, TBG had become TWG. Unbeknownst to TBG apparently drinking makes him act retarded/like a surfer boy. P-Dog noticed this discrepancy and took it upon himself to save his mentor and friend and return him to his normal state before he does something to ruin the good name of pimps around the world.



P-Dog pegs TWG in his domepiece yo!!
TWG takes 48 damage

P-Dog pegs TWG in da grape! Oh snap!
TWG takes 62 damage

TWG>> uunngghhh....*grumble*
P-Dog>> you ok? you there? come back to me TBG.
TWG>> i...iz....am....are.......
P-Dog>> cmon TBG use poor grammar. you can do it! say yo and stuff!
TWG>> i...word?...G...fuffloodle......
P-Dog>>yea there you go...dog! western side! wardy! holler behind!!
TBG>> wtf iz u sayin yo! you sound mad azz retarded yo i got a hangover and u spittin dat homo shit out. i thought i told yo azz to stop talkin'. SLOWGUUYYY!!
P-Dog>> TBG!!!! wood wood!! you are mah male!!
TBG>> damn dog u iz fukkin wack just STFU!! stop ur fukkin killin me B.
Taruchick>> hey gu....ys... wtf happened to TBG?? you're all bloody in the head.
TBG>> i got a hangova...
P-Dog>> i fixed him up! :D


TBG rubs the back of his head.


TBG>> OH SHIT!! WTF!! im bleeding! why am i bleeding yo! who jumped me yo! datz it! somebody is boutsta get a cap bustin in they azz yo! holla!
P-Dog>> it was some....uh....white kids! yea white kids jumped you! they said something about wanting your lood.
TBG>> holy christ... P-Dog, its loot. you cant say lewt? or loot? iz it dat fukin hard? cmon B. seriously i aint playin' iz it dat hard?
P-Dog>> thats what i said TBG. lood. whats da matta. yoz!
TBG>> dog...you are... you're a retard yo.
TBG>> P-Dog we gotta find deez white boys yo. we gonna steal they kickz and they hoz holla!
P-Dog>> and thier bikes!!
TBG>> word up.
Taruchick>> haha you guys are too funny. ^^ oh look at that elvaan over there! i like his armor!


Taruchick runs toward the elvaan paladin shouting about height or something along those lines...


TBG>> damn dat lil taru is a slut P-Dog. you sure you didnt catch nuffin frum 'er?
P-Dog>> nope i wrapped up wit dem galka strength "jackets".
TBG>> word. u gotta be wary of slutz like dat G. u never know what they gun try n pull on yo azz.
P-Dog>> so master. when do we resume my training??
TBG>> as soon as you stop axin gay azz questions an' shit.
P-Dog>> umm yes sir. yo sir yo.
TBG>> (st00pid azz)


P-Dog stands there smiling.


TBG>> aight yo lets get back to giddeus and talk to Hoo Mjuu da Master of da Slap of Pimps. besides me uhcourse.
P-Dog>> why dont you just teach me TBG.
TBG>> cuz foo! i dont need no sorry azz punk knowin' mah skillz damn G!
P-Dog>> holla back!
TBG>> boy im this close to slappi.. aight fine that was a ok "holla back". But i should still slap you for the future jacked up shiz dat i KNOW you gun spit out yo mouf yo.
P-Dog>> nah jigglez i kno how da pimpz be tawlking. and diggy doo dangles i be gun talk like a pimple fo life harlar backloof!!!! west area and stuff biglufuck.

TBG sprinkles baby powder on the back of his hand.
TBG sprinkles baby powder on the front of his hand.

TBG str8 up bitch slaps da shit outta P-Dog. Oh snap yo!! I think P-Dog is dead yo!!! HOLLA!
P-Dog was defeated by TBG.


TBG>> dog i want you ta remembah dis aight? dat slap wuz da baby powda bitch slap. instant deaf. ever hear of da 5 point palm exploding heart technique? diz shit makez dat shit look like sissy shit. open yo mouf wit wack azz slime like dat again and imma slap you so hard dat lil taru slut's mouf is gonna hurt back when she went down on you da night b4 last from the sheer vibration of the slap i would issue you today. nahmeen? FOO!
P-Dog>> ...*deflating tire sound*
TBG>> s'right! s'what i thought foo.
TBG>> aight P-Dog lets bounce. we got white boyz dat need ta get jumped...holla*nods head*




DAAAMMMNN DOG!!! TBG allowed P-Dog a chance to speak his mind but damn. Even my eyes hurt, and I'm the guy who typed that mindless shit. Actually I do feel a little slower... Ok well you enjoy this im going to go read a thesaurus. Or a playboy, HOLLA BACK!

When I Get Shitty

Last time we left off P-Dog had finally had a taste of the pimps dream. He tagged a Taru-taru. TBG was pretty upset about the whole thing but he was proud of his boy. He decided that drowning his sorrows/joy was a good way to finish off the night and figured he would probably end the night getting laid anyway because he whole-heartedly believes being drunk makes him more attractive and extra smooth. Reasonably so because drinking really does do that for us. :D That afternoon P-Dog decides to check on TBG and get back into training but....






P-Dog>> yo TBG. last night was cra-Z! that little taru ho wuz off the chain! yo!
TBG>> im happy for you pathfinder. you are pretty lucky.
P-Dog>> wtf... yo?
TBG>> pardon?
P-Dog>> whats wrong with you TBG?
TBG>> oh! hahaha! I've been drinking a little, ha.
P-Dog>> you dont seem like you have...you seem.....different.
TBG>> how so?
P-Dog>> well for one you dont seem very intoxicated...and you are not very pimp-like.
TBG>> why would I want to seem pimp-like? you're so silly pathfinder.
P-Dog>> what??? but you're TBG the pimpiest pimp that ever pimpped! your knowledge of pimpin' and mastery of pimpology is second to none! you have black belts in pimp-fu, pimpjitsu, and pimp-tai.
TBG>> what in blazes are you talking about??
P-Dog>> this is bad...


TBG takes another swig of jaeger.


P-Dog>> you're drinkin' it straight?!?!
TBG>> yea this is good stuff dude.
P-Dog>> DUDE!?!? WTF IS DUDE??


TBG takes another swig.


P-Dog>> no stop!
TBG>> like chill man! this stuff is gnarly! wooahhhh....
P-Dog>> cant you hear yourself!? you sound like...like...(DUN DUN DUNNNN) A WHITE GUY!!!!
TWG>> dude you are soooo, like, loco man.
P-Dog>> NNNUOOOOHHHHHH!!!!!
Taruchick>> ^^ hiya P-Dog. hi TBG.
TWG>> like woah! check out this hot mama-jama. like, wanna go grab a cup o' joe? maybe surf?
Taruchick>> ^^ok!! that sounds like fun!!
TWG>> cool beans! totally rad!
P-Dog>> yo dog! listen G! u iz...*grunt* a.. playa! you cant be *struggle* ackin' a foo! urgh!
TWG>> ...get a life dude. hahaha!


TWG and Taruchick walk away leaving pathfinder to himself.


P-Dog>> i must save TBG. i must....


Later that evening....P-Dog is watching TBG and Taruchick. He is clutching an object that can bludgeon TWG into TBG at the right moment...


TWG>> hehe that was tubular fun lil lady!
Taruchick>> yea it was teehee^^
TWG>> what do you wanna do now?
Taruchick>> well, i am dick height :D
TWG>> RAAADDDD!!!!


P-Dog>>hmm. maybe it can wait till later.


Will P-Dog save TBG?? Will TBG become TWG forever??? Will Taruchick ever stop being a super-slut??? Only time will tell!! To be continued....


TWG>> COWABUNGA!!!!!!!
P-Dog>> ...lucky bastard....

A Note from the Author

There will be certain weekends of each month that I will be unable to update this fine elegant story of passion, love, hate, and other emotions people commonly have...except for sadness because apparently when you get sad you are supposed to take pills to get rid of it. These select weekends I am away probably training for another deployment to a very sandy country where people wear towels on their heads or other various forms of a rag. I apologize for my absence at these times but I have no choice in the matter unless I want to be thrown in jail and as for right now I'm not entirely too interested in it. In case you are wondering why I would ever make a blog like this, ask yourself one question. Do you really think I talk like this and enjoy this manner of behavior? Better yet I will answer that for you. No. I merely think its almost gotten ridiculous the words that have been invented and are being taken very seriously and are being used in real life conversations. My blog is intended to poke fun and give you an opportunity to watch this language in action and laugh at its overall silliness. The extra words made up are simply an extreme way of making fun of it some more. Randomizing letters and forming strange words that can be sounded out and maybe even sound like the next new word to come out in a rap or something along those lines. So kick back in your desk, relax, grab a granola bar (put the doughnut down fatty) and attempt to read what Token Black Guy has got to offer you. A few morning laughs, and a puzzle for you to decipher. Enjoy!!








...oh yea, HOLLA BACK!!!

The Pimp Within

mah boy P dog is gonna get a break so he can do up da halloween hotne$$ and chill from da pimpin' biz fo a hot minute. so we sho nuff didnt waste no time gettin down to sandy wit da quickness cuz we already kno therz gun be sum str8 up SLUTS dressin like HOZ up in dat piece and we cant wait to get all up in em nahmeen?!!? HOLLA BACK WODY!!!!


TBG>> yo P dog. grab dat yagudo priest-pimp we need to get to sandy like woah yo fa sho so we can see some hoz n maybe get em to blow yo.
P-Dog>> (ok what did he just say? lessee... priest..sandy...OK!) for shore yo!
TBG>>...juz do it dog.
P-Dog>> 'ey yo priest.
Priest>> wut it do pimpette.
P-Dog>> umm nuddin Gee.
Priest>>aight den im outtie fo showtie pizzle g dog blookamoof.
TBG>> wait! wtf P-Dog? damn u wack! yo priest wait up dog i need u ta holla!
Priest>> no diggity no doubt u ready?
TBG>> fa sho!
P-Dog>> words up there!
Priest>> what the fu..
TBG>> juz ignore 'im yo.
Priest>> aight aight.


Yagudo Priest Pimp starts casting telelport-HOLLA BACK!
Yagudo Priest, P-Dog, and TBG disappear...


TBG>> holla!
Priest>> i just did yo we iz already here B.
TBG>> no no i wuz juz sayin holla cuz we here already yo.
Priest>> oh mah bad G.
TBG>> issall good.
P-Dog>> (what do i say what do i say) uhh... yo yo yo!! jimmy doo!


TBG slaps P-Dog up in da eye yo!
P-Dog takes 80 damage. holla!


P-Dog>> damn i iz alwayz messin stuff up and stuff yo.
TBG>> datz cuz u wack n u tryin too hard foo! anyway thanks fo da tele-holla pimp peace out!
Priest>> no doubt.
TBG>> aight P. letz grab some choco beamers and roll into sandy. holla!
P-Dog>> um. ok........yo?
TBG>> wuteva homie. les go!


so me n a P-Dog is rollin, patrollin. on da way to sandy he iz seein some fly azz hunnies in they slutty azz costumes makin they way to da city of elvaanly love. I cant believe how many hoz i seen juz runnin to da city. me n da P-Dog iz boutsta have us sum fun holllllaaaa!!!!


P-Dog>> oh snickly doo Gee! look at all dem whores!
TBG>> STFU dog! ur gunna blow up mah spot B! dont be callin em whores yo! we aint payin fa nuffin so dont call em dat yo damn u stoopid!
P-Dog>> oh snappsticks mah incorrect!
TBG>> aight G check it check it. new rule for u as a p-i-m-p.
P-Dog>>lay it in places B im a-listenin'
TBG>> yea. yea you dont talk at all. aight g?
P-Dog>> ...? ok but...?
TBG>> stop. you dont talk. juz close ya mouf and fuhget about talkin ok B?
P-Dog>> ...
TBG>> aight koo. now lemme game us some hoz! holla!


so me n the silent pimpette moved thru da city lookin for a suitable slut holla! and dayum did we ever get lucky! my favorite!!


Taruchick>> hi there^^
TBG>>what it iz baby! let a nikka hit!
P-Dog>>...
Taruchick>> haha ur funny^^
TBG>> fa sho! u feelin mah flow? check out diz loot im packin'
Taruchick>> haha ok? umm nice loot?
TBG>> s'right lil hunny! check out mah chain!
Taruchick>> umm ok nice necklace thing thats umm fantastic...
P-Dog>>...
Taruchick>> whos ur friend hes awfully quiet.
TBG>> neva mind dis foo da names TBG and i got mad dough, i know how ta flow, when da cops iz on me i aint neva slow, and i know how to spot a fine azz ho, yo!
Taruchick>> thats really remarkable. no really. but whos ur friend.
TBG>> his name is P-Dog he dont be talkin much cuz he a crazy azz foo.
Taruchick>> i think hes cute ^^
P-Dog>>...!!!
TBG>> uhh word. anyway letz get a room n chill! we gun get some schizer!!!!! sip sip sip!
Taruchick>> mind if i hang out with P-Dog?
P-Dog>> its not a problem. we can do whatever makes you feel good. i hope you like having fun cuz thats what i do best and its the only thing im interested in doing.
Taruchick>> ^^ i love having fun!! lets go!
P-Dog>> lets chill in my room. the night is on u. im up for anything and everything.
Taruchick>> well.... i am dick height :D
P-Dog>> holla.
TBG>> WTF! WTF! yo! yo P-Dog! dont leemee here yo! NIKKA U WACK!!!!!


TBG lets the only tear fall from his left eye. A tear of pride.


yo. fo real doh. how da fuk do P-Dog get da ho b4 me yo! i knew he had sum kinda lil pimp skill in him. but damn yo! i wanted to hit that like woah!! errbody knows i love dem lil taru taru hoz and everyti...


P-Dog>> Yolucklamoofarama!!!!!!!


AW DAMN YO!! now i KNOW she hookin him up wit dem skillz yo!! diz iz wack!!! WACK!! dat cra-Z azz shit he juz said is pimp chizat and takes mad azz inspiration to come up wit. damn yo imma bust dat nucca in his teef when i see him. but fo now i bessa best get me a ho fo da night cuz i needsta let off some steam.


TBG>> wut it do lil sexy! check out mah chain!!!

Pimpology 101

Aight, i can see path aint ready fa no hoz juz yet. its all good we allz gotsta start somewhere holla! so imma take it one step at a time and teach diz foo one bit of pimpin' at a time and if we iz lucky den at da end he should be all pimpity n shit n ready ta game some sluts holla!!!! lesson #1 on pimpin 101 iz da ability to talk like a pimp. ya needsta kno how ta flow like a crazy a$$ mofo fa sho yo holla back wesside bitch! see? pimp.


TBG>> yo. yo path. yo. path yo. path wtf. path fukkin listen, PATH!

TBG slaps pathfinder for 57

Pathfinder>> ow! cmon wait im trying to get *muffle* these *grunt* IN! *grunt* *POP* AUGHH!!
TBG>> boy wut in da fu... wut iz you doin over der G!?

Pathfinder smiles at TBG revealing a gold grill and bloody gums.

TBG>> DOG! ARE YOU CRAZY?!?!?
Pathfinder>> i wanth thoo bee like you. *drip*
TBG>> i can see that mofo! dog ur face is str8 up drippin dog dat shit aint pimp neever. you look like u just got yo mouf raped. take dat shit out yo face.
Pathfinder>> but thith ith pimp thit nithaaaaa....
TBG>> take dat fake ass grill out yo mouf fo you get kicked dead in yo domepiece dog i aint playin'.
Pathfinder>> ...fine. ill take them out. thtoopid jerk.

TBG str8 up baby powder bitch slaps dat fake ass grill out pathfinders face fa sho!!
pathfinder takes 300 damage

*a set of fake gold teeth go flying and hit a kid in his eye*

Pathfinder>> aw maaannn.
TBG>> trust me u gun live. now pay attention u dum bitch.
Pathfinder>> hollering.
TBG>> pay attention AND stfu retard.
Pathfinder>>ok. shutin up....yo.
TBG>> im bout this close to slappin you again. foo.
Pathfinder>>....
TBG>>stop moving yo mouf too. dat shit iz pi$$in me off just da same.
TBG>> ok i dun went and spent mah lewt gettin u a pimpology speech therapist. diz iz mah dog so i got me a deal but dat dont mean yo azz gun be slackin off neever nahmeen?
Pathfinder>>...
TBG>> you can say yes you dum bitch.
Pathfinder>> holler.

TBG stares blankly at Pathfinder

TBG>> aight NEwayz i got Eyee Monn da Iron Pimp up in herr rdy to teach u how da pimp chat is s'pose ta flow out yo mouf! listen to dis nikka talk da talk and learn foo, learnnn.
Iron Pimp>> wut it do nikkazzz!!! Big PATHHH wut it izzzzz!!!!! G! im da iron pimp and i gotsta flow fa sho! ya mama's a ho and she be makin me dat dough. imma teach you wut it do when da time comes to stun a foo wich yo pimp chat. proper pimp chat WILL get u hoz and it WILL make a whyte boy run HOLLA!! lemme hear wut u got B. lay yo pimp on me.
Pathfinder>> ok uhh uhhh uhh mah name is pathf...

Eyee Monn da Iron Pimp sneaks Pathfinder in da domepiece HOLLA!
Pathfinder takes 80 damage

Iron Pimp>> yo TBG i shoulda snuck u too fo lettin his mouf open wit dat jacked up shit yo!
TBG>> i know B... i know. i juz wanted u to see how wack diz bitch iz yo. he needs mad azz help nahmeen??
Iron Pimp>> thats fa sho! he got discipline tho. he dont talk till he gets talked to. props TBG.
TBG>> holla
Iron Pimp>>holla
TBG>> how long u think it gun be till diz foo learnz da talk??
Iron Pimp>> the force is strong in this one TBG. he is almost ready to be a jed...
TBG>> what da fuck did u just... whatchu talkin bout? you crazy??!?!
Iron Pimp>> mah bad G mah bad. The yagudos been into dat star wars sheit lately. just thought itd be dope to mix it with our pim..
TBG>> No. No. it wont. stop.
Iron Pimp>>aight aight chill itz all good mah nizzlack.
Pathfinder>> No diggity.
TBG/Iron Pimp>> OH SNAP!!


it seems my boy path may have da ability to talk like a pimp!! dat "no diggity" right at the end was str8 up perfect. when i first started my pimpin biz not even i coulda placed a "no diggity" wit dat much pimp juice. sheit he might be more pimp den me one day HOLLA! Da Iron Pimp will def have to take his time wit path cuz he gotsta unlock his hidden inner pimp and teach him da pimp-slap attack. ill pick him up a stack of baby powders fo extra empha$i$ cuz a pimp gotta make his mark on yo face nahmeen??? once mah boy path getz all up in one o' dem lil taru taru sluts yo he gun know wut pimp is all about!! dem lil sluts iz craz-E!! itz cuz dey little too yo, dey think dey gotta do extra shit to make u like dem mo'. shoot last taru i had did sum craz-E a$$ deepthroat yo! dat lil ho looked like a TBG-meat mithkabob HOLLA BACKKKK!!!!!!! she didnt even flinch yo! 'course i had to bounce after cuz dey be tryin ta cast bind on yo azz so u dont go nowhere but i got skillz so itz all good! aight dogz im owtie fo showtie! i gotta hit up my yagudo homiez n get some o' dat "fire water" hollaaa baccckkkk nikkaaaa!!! wesside!! bloop bloop!!! 2006 my shizzle bizzle crizzle dizzle gizzle umdizzle fumbladizzle ormarizzle thizzle fumbaroladizzamoofalizzle!!!!!! (it means peace owt cracka!)

Another Day wit da Paffinder

Aight yo so i been tryin to think up hot wayz to make my new homeboy look ppeeimp! dis wudnt no e-Z occasion yo! dis junk was str8 up hard yo! goblins aint da e-z-est ppl to turn into pimps ya herrr!! holla! but if derz one thing TBG knowz best its pimpology. datz da study of pimpin' and rule numba 1 yo is dat pimpin' ain't easy HOLLA BACK!!!!


Pathfinder hits TBG for 83
Pathfinder hits TBG for 92

Pathfinder>> umm...y..o. umm dog? iz you around there? y..o?

Pathfinder hits TBG for 76

TBG>> YO WTF YO! WTF CHILL! wtf did i say you gotta do to pimp you idiot! chill wit da fukkin hittin already dog, damn! iz dat so hard?
Pathfinder>> you were afk...i thought if you saw the hitting that you would...idk...
TBG>>dont make me pimp slap you B. you dont want da pimp slap.
Pathfinder>> master i wish to learn this...pimp-slap attack.
TBG>> in time you will learn. pimp slap is learned at level 5. its a good attack B. dat shit stuns a mob for awhile cuz u know dem fooz dont be especkin to get slapped nahmeen?
Pathfinder>> i dont understand what you just said TBG.

TBG pimp-slaps da mess outta pathfinder
Pathfinder takes 150 damage and is stunned


TBG>> i bet itz lookin mad azz clear right abt now idnt it?
Pathfinder>>*stunned*
TBG>>give it a sec
Pathfinder>> OW OMG! WHY DID YOU HIT ME?
TBG>>cuz foo u axin too many st00pid questions. you dont ask pimpolgy you juz get it. itz natural. lemme hear yo pimp chizat.
Pathfinder>> ok..uhh. yo yo yo mah name is pat...

TBG kicks pathfinder dead in his teef yo
Pathfinder takes 75 damage

TBG>> nah B stop tryin to rap yo u iz a cracka!
Pathfinder>> sorry....
TBG>> aight see dat ho over there?
Pathfinder>> i dont see any hoes...
TBG>> damn nikka u blind too? look at dem titties yo!
Pathfinder>> phew i thought you were gonna make me garden or something...yo.
TBG>> what the fu... whatchu talkin bout foo! im tellin you to check out dat ho der yo!
Pathfinder>> is that supposed to be a girl? a...ho?
TBG>> wtf! yea dog cmon u cra-Z? look at her yo damn boyeee!!! go kick some game to her!
Pathfinder>> umm ok home man.

TBG slaps his own face

Pathfinder>> sup ho.
Ho>> ...umm what did you call me?
Pathfinder>> i said wut is it ho?

Ho slaps Pathfinder for 200

TBG>> AGRO! RUN FOO RUN!!!!
Ho>> get over here you freak!!
Pathfinder>> holy snapsticks and stuff!!! YO!
TBG>> Stop bein wack when u iz runnin foo! u iz mad dum yo!
Pathfinder>> whew made it to the zoneline...
TBG>> damn foo we got mad azz work to do...mad azz work...
Pathfinder>> holla..*nods*
TBG>>.......... YOU DONT SAY HOLLA TO DAT SLOWGUY! SLOOOWWGGUUYYY!!!! W00t wewt!!!
Pathfinder>> sorry....



mah boy path aint quite gettin da way it iz to be a pimp flash masta crack fa sho holla back yo nikka woah woah lets do some blow ya kno? wut a pimp to do? I just gotta break my boy in real slow like cuz dayum he be sayin some off da hizzy cray-Z azz shit! once i get him his first ho he'll be str8! he just needs to get that pimp-slap up so he can turn sum trix and make some lewt! matterafack i got some trix i be gottin to go turn too so i bessa bess move on downtown sandy right quick and slap some hoz up fo mah lewt! wewt! big pimpin iz wut it iz folkz! any pimps out der lemme know wut it do! HOLLA BACK! it's time fo me to smack some ass get some cash roll out fast and dust da past holllaaaaaa!!! rugladoofa!!!!!!!

Bannable Offenses

Pathfinder!!

So here i am chillin in da jungle yo!
And I'm gettin str8 up agro'd by some cra-Z azz goblin!

Goblin Pathfinder hits TBG for 80

TBG>> yo wtf yo!
Pathfinder>> ...yo?
TBG>> yea wtf yo? why you gotsta be hittin me like dat G!
Pathfinder>> what?
TBG>> c'mon dog you iz mad azz wack hittin' me like dat! i didnt do smack to u yo!
Pathfinder>> cuz...gee...i iz trying to mess you upwards yo?
TBG>> LOLZ yo you talk like a whyte boyee G! LOLZ
Pathfinder>> DAMN!

Goblin Pathfinder hits TBG for 75

TBG>> woah chill G chill! no need to be playa hatin'!
Pathfinder>> you made fun of me!
TBG>> nah yo i was juz statin werd dat you dont know how to talk like a p-i-m-p!
Pathfinder>> whats that?
TBG>> thats a dope ass mofo fa sho rdy to hit da flow with mad hoz yo!
Pathfinder>> wwwooooowwww!!!! I wanna learn to talk like that!
TBG>> aight g ill teach you da wayz of da pimp but first u gotta chill wit hittin me yo that shit aint cool dog.
Pathfinder>> ok now what?
TBG>> aight we gotsta get you some new threads B and we gotta get you a hot azz whip to roll wit so u can bang dem hoz like woah!
Pathfinder>> ok. yo.
TBG>> LOLZ you iz almost gettin it. you still sound wack doh LOL


Goblin Pathfinder hits TBG for 93


TBG>> ...stop bein gay yo.
Pathfinder>> sorry... force of habit.. home canine.
TBG>> *sigh* its aight G youll get it. lets go get you some pimp threads yo!
Pathfinder>> WESTERN SIDE!!!!!
TBG>>its wesside yo WESSIDE!! WTF YO!
Pathfinder>> oh snapple my wrong yo.


TBG slaps his own face


TBG>> we got mad azz work to do yo. mad azz work
Pathfinder>> ill be as cool as smitty wood wood!
TBG>> its w00t...
Pathfinder>> w..00...t...


I'll hook up my boy pathfinder soon yo! before he be knowin it he gun have mad azz hoz feeling up his bee if yah nahmeen holla!!!!!! WHMs goin down, mithras givin tail, even them lil taru sluts yo cuz we know dat they iz already at dick height so holla back!!!!