I Wuz Da New Neo...

aight yo. i been suspended from da game. i know what ya'll iz thinkin'. "No, not TBG! What could he have done wrong?!" i can answer dat for ya. nothin'. i aint did nuffin wrong yo! yet SOMEHOW i got suspended. lemme give ya'll a lil rundown o' da eventz that occured last nite leadin to mah arrest.


TBG enters the chocobo stables.

TBG>> yo wtf. errthin in herr iz all black cept fo da NPCz n' shit.
TBG>> hmm. letz see sumthing.

TBG walks around the building haphazardly. Walking through anything and everything.

Player>> woah! how'd you get back there?
TBG>> i dunno sun. i juz can.
Player>> thats so l33t! i wanna get back there!
TBG>> i dun think u can homeboy.


TBG walks through a pillar and a wall and basically anything normal players cannot walk thru. He even walks to (J-10) in the chocobo stables, a place no player has gone before.

TBG>> there is no spoon....
Player>> LOLZ i wanna do it show me how to do it!
TBG>> i told u foo i dont know how! it juz works for me son!
Player>> are you using a wall haxxorz?
TBG>> dog. if i had a wall hack d'you really think i would only choose to use it at da chocobo stables? think about dat one.
Player>> ... so do you have a wall hack?
TBG>> im leaving.


TBG>> dats sum wierd shiz yo... i wonder if it be working in other buildings?

TBG enters every building in bastok to test his new found power. He can walk through anything in any building. He is now the Chosen One.

TBG>> i am da chozen one....holla....
TBG>> aight imma hit up kazham! gotta lvl diz BLU!!


TBG walks to the airport and falls through the area where there is supposed to be a bridge.

TBG>> damn yo wtf! I iz stuck!
TBG>> time fo da GM call holla!!!!!!


You have 11 calls ahead of you.


TBG>> aight ill juz chill here fa sho. i got patience.


10 minutes later...

[GM]nice>> hello TBG. i understand you cannot exit the airport?
TBG>> datz fa sho!
[GM]nice>> hmmm im sorry i didnt quite understand what you just said..
TBG>> uhh.. yes...that is...da...problem...yo!
[GM]nice>> ok can you show me?
TBG>> holla! look yo i can walk thru all diz shiznack!
[GM]nice>> hmm that is wierd...ok you will have to call tech support. they will better be able to assist you.
TBG>> aight but yo. i iz tryin to get to...urgh...kazham to party and...uurghh i can not make it in time...yo. can you help?
[GM]nice>> will lower jeuno be ok?
TBG>> word!
[GM]nice>> ill take that as a yes. one moment please.
TBG>> yo fa real! thanks yo!
[GM]nice>> you're welcome ^^


TBG appears in lower jeuno

TBG>> aight time to catch dat flight sucka!

TBG makes it to kazham just in time for his party. spends a good 3 hours killing things hits level 30 and then heads back home to bastok. He gets stuck in the airport again...

TBG>> wut the fiznuck! aight GM call time.

10 minutes later....

[GM]Fucking Dickhead McGee the First>> Greetings TBG i understand you are stuck in the airport?
TBG>> fa sho!
[GM]Fucking Dickhead McGee the First>> im sorry for this inconvenience. however i am clicking the door it works fine.
TBG>> yea but da problem is not da door'z ability to open. its da fack dat i cant even touch it yo LOL!
[GM]Fucking Dickhead McGee the First>> hmm. and why not?
TBG>> watch me.

TBG runs around the room walking through objects and the stairs needed to reach the door. His blessing is now a curse.

[GM]Fucking Dickhead McGee the First>> hmm it would seem you cant interact with objects.
TBG>> (no shit fucktard) uhh yea. i cant...can you warp me next to da door?
[GM]Fucking Dickhead McGee the First>> one moment.

TBG opens the door and walks out.

[GM]Fucking Dickhead McGee the First>> will that be all?
TBG>> haha nah thats not my problem yo. itz dat i can walk thru wallz n' shit dat iz messin me up!
[GM]Fucking Dickhead McGee the First>> i want to see you walk through a wall >.>
TBG>> aight yo check it!

TBG runs to Dragons Claws and walks through the desk and the wall and back again.

[GM]Fucking Dickhead McGee the First>> ok you will have to call tech support for that one.
TBG>> im a freak...
[GM]Fucking Dickhead McGee the First>> is there anything else i can help you with?
TBG>> nah im good thanks fo savin me yo!
[GM]Fucking Dickhead McGee the First>> ok bye.
TBG>>(damn ass-crunch)

TBG begins shouting

TBG>> yo if ya'll wanna see a blue mage do a REAL magic trick come down to dragons claws and watch me walk thru da walls!!
TBG>> im a freak!
TBG>> der is no spoon yo!
TBG>> da matrix has you!!
[GM]Fucking Dickhead McGee the First>> i would advise you not to do that. if someone reports you i will be forced to take action on you.
TBG>> oh snap. im sorry i stop now
TBG's homie>> haha yo TBG! lemme see u do it!
TBG to his homie>> aight yo come to da shop.
TBG's homie>> aight brt.
[GM]Fucking Dickhead McGee the First>> im going to make a note in your account. if you do not get this fixed in a timely manner i will be forced to take action.
[GM]Fucking Dickhead McGee the First>> if you had not reported this you would have been suspended. so get this fixed as quickly as you can.
TBG>> aight yo im all over it.
[GM]Fucking Dickhead McGee the First>> goodbye.
TBG>>aight yo...cya...

Homie shows up.

TBG>> yo check it dog.
Homie>> aight do diz lessee it.


TBG walks through the walls.

Homie>> WTH?!
TBG>> yea dog it works for any o' da dam buildings here. cept i get stuck in bastok airport cuz of da bridge...
Homie>> dats mad dope yo!
TBG>> yea it gets mad azz fun in da chocobo stables yo LOL!!
Homie>> coo coo. so hows life been yo?

TBG and his homie are talking about work n' udder smack and midway thru da convo....


*warp*

Area===Mordian Gaol===--


TBG>> ah damn i been here before...

TBG kneels in respect.

TBG>> ...(please god no dragons)

[GM]Fucking Dickhead McGee the First>> i told you not to do those things TBG...
TBG>> yo i cant even see da smack i get to walk thru yo!
TBG>> but i understand....
[GM]Fucking Dickhead McGee the First>> i will be forced to jail you until you get this matter resolved.
TBG>> did i do sumfin wrong? cuz i wastn cheating and i didnt get anything extra from it...cept a few laughs. am i not allowed to get extra laughs during da day?
[GM]Fucking Dickhead McGee the First>> i told you not to shout and you insisted on walking through the walls and doing these things anyway.
TBG>> yep...
[GM]Fucking Dickhead McGee the First>> you will remain here until its fixed.

TBG sits. TBG waves to [GM]Fucking Dickhead McGee the First.

TBG>> aight. imma be here awhile yo. im goin to bed and i got a 10 hour workday tomorrow. soo... yea.
[GM]Fucking Dickhead McGee the First>> goodbye
TBG>> (asshole yo)

You have been disconnected from playonline.



yo. what did i do wrong yo? did i cheat? did i get free gil? did i score sum NM? did i run faster? what did i do wrong yo? i showed my homeboy dat i could walk thru walls n shid and i get locked up fo' it! racialist yo!!! itz cuz im black! da [GM] had lower den normal hp tho. probably wuz gettin his azz banged by da udder GM's nahmeen? dat would explain why he was bein a dick. so now i aint allowed to play cuz my game glitched. next thing you know ill log in and be able to bend da damn game to mah will n shit. der is no spoon bitch! but till i talk to dem techy nerdz about mah issue imma be locked up fo' awhile. my choco iz gunna starve yo. yo if i did something dat i deserved to be locked up fo please lemme know. cuz i damn sho dont see it. damn GM. (Gay Masta)