My Cellie

today wuz a good day fa yo man TBG. im sure ya'll know abowt dat sidekick3 n' all. abowt how itz supposed to be dope as a mug and mad azz useful right? yea well i got one of dem doggone fonez and damn yo! it sucked mah azz! here's how it go:


TBG>> aight, time to check mah ims n' mah text messages holla!

TBG turns his fone on and plugs it in.
*5 minutes pass*

TBG>> hmm aight i guess it takes a lil bit to start up. i can holla at that.

*5 more minutes pass*

TBG>> aight, ok, no doubt. maybe a bad signal, no doubt.
TBG>> imma juz pass da time n' drop a log.

*TBG drops a log for about 15 minutes*

TBG>> ok lemme see dat signal!
TBG>> hmm dat aint no signal yo. it says its searching tho wtf...
TBG>> aight, i wait.

*10 minutes pass*

TBG>> yo wtf! DATS IT! imma call customer service mah nutz holla!

TBG calls CustomerService.....ringing...

Lady>> hello can i have your mobile number?
TBG>> no doubt its 1-800-imma-sexy-azz-muh-fuggah
Lady>>.... please sir your mobile number, area code first.
TBG>> oh..holla. its ***-***-****
Lady>> ok one moment while i pull up your account information.
TBG>> holla!
Lady>> please refrain from yelling in my ear sir.
TBG>> oop. mah bad yo.
Lady>> O...kay lets see here.... you have made 6 previous complaints before i see.
TBG>> no doubt yo diz fone iz wack!
Lady>> yes i see you have made other comments in regards to the phone including, busted, sorry, "white", crack-headed, and diz iz bullshiet.
TBG>> holla datz me aight!
Lady>> yes how can i help you get your phone back in order.
TBG>> nah im good i wanna exchange dis mess fo a working one yo.
Lady>> ooohh im sorry the phone cannot be exchanged once you've passed your 40 day warranty.
TBG>> nah im good. i wanna exchange ya'll dicked me ova wit diz shitty fone i juz want a new one like it.
Lady>> im so sorry to hear that. can i transfer you to a sidekick specialist?
TBG>>uhh aight, yea.
Lady>> one moment.

*waiting music....Nightrider*

TBG>> wtf...this is some gay ass shi...
Arabian Guy>> tankoo forr calling. how cahn aye be of sehvice?
TBG>> yo wtf!
Arabian Guy>> aye'm surry sir. plees cohme ahgin.
TBG>> yo my fone iz wack i need a new one.
Arabian Guy>> we arrre surry sir. you 'ave pahssed yourr forrtee day wahrrantee. i can nut ahsseest you. you may howeverr purchis a brahnd new phone if you lyke.
TBG>> nah yo gimme a new fone diz is wack!
Arabian Guy>> one moment plees sir.
TBG>> ...

*waiting music...Papa Don't Preach*

Lady>> thank you for calling can i have your 9 digit mobile number starting with area code?
TBG>> yo i juz spoke to u wtf yo!
Lady>> im sorry sir. you must be mistaken. how can i help you today?
TBG>> yo my fone is wack dammit!
Lady>> one moment lemme trans...

*click*

*45 minutes later*


Operator>> i understand your phone is broken and you wish to make a claim?
TBG>> holla! i slipped and it fell yo!
Operator>> oh im very sorry. let me transfer you to our claims manager.
TBG>> aight i can holla.
Lady>> hello thank you for calling can i have your ten didgit mobile number star....

*gunshot...gunshot...gunshot*


News Caster>>> today is a dark day indeed. a young black male was seen entering several cell phone retail stores and call centers firing at innocent employees. He was last seen on foot wearing an all red suit with a feathered hat. he is armed and dangerous. please take extra caution, he is black.



yo if i dont repost again anytime soon my azz iz in prison fa murdah! i cant take dis mess no mo' yo! it aint right to be dickin people da way they dick me yo! i iz trying to rid da world of deez evil muhfukkahz. ya'll betta post bail fo my azz. holla!