Mad Smack has Come and Passed

well dogz alot has str8 up happened yo. i figerz imma fill ya'll in so dat ya'll dont gotta wiggle 'round here no moe waitin ta find owt, holla? holla. i dun changed mah ways again. i gave up on da wayz of da dragoon cuz dragoonz is simply weak bitches wit no utility. i den moved on to blue mage. which was diggity dope fo awhile messin bitches up wit dey own smack. but den dat got old too yo. not cuz blue mages iz weak er nuffin but juz cuz it aint dat fun no moe. so DEN i decyded to go back to monk. da job dat i began da game wit and quit cuz i thought monkz wuz weak too. mad azz wrong yo lol mad azz wrong!!

TBG>> sup lil mama.
Lexii>> hey TBG. LOL nice gear!!
TBG>> yo don't laugh slut the shit i gotta wear is mad azz expensive wtf?!
Lexii>> TBG ur still totin' cougar baghnaks.
TBG>> YO! chill. allz i need iz da back of diz hand. i win.
Lexii>> you're wrong TBG. you will never hit anything hard or accurately. wait here.
TBG>> ...sheiit...

10 minutes later

Lexii>> here use this.
TBG>> ...what's diz?

Lexii wishes to trade with you.
TBG obtains a purple belt, venerer's ring, horomusha kote, jujitsu gi, jujitsu sitabaki, fuma kyahan, tourney patas, and a puissance ring.

TBG>> OH SNAP!! where'd u get all diz smack yo! wtf yo! oh snap yo! mad loot yo! lemme hit yo!
Lexii>> hehe white mage teleportation hunny.
TBG>> FLAVA FLAAAAVVV!!!!
TBG>> ....>.>
Lexii>> ....<.<
TBG>> mah bad yo.
Lexii>> yea it is. dont ever do the stupid shit again. please
TBG>> so ah could hit a bitch pretty hard like diz cant i?
Lexii>> very.
TBG>> sheeiit hollllaa.

TBG readies backhand blow
Lexii recieves 300 damage!!
Lexii is out cold!

TBG>> hehe. holla.

TBG loots lexii
TBG finds 3 million gil.
TBG bounces.

TBG>> hehe. holla again.


holla back yo! lil slutz juz DONT learn yo. us bastard azz muhfuckahs iz alwayz gunna treat u like slutz! why do ya'll think dat shiz iza boutsta change? fer real yo. da more you give me da more imma wanna rob yo azz or pimp yo azz owt. daz all i care abowt. mo munny no problems! holla mungajunga!!!! peace crackaz im owt!

Dragimp

so it wudnt too long ago i decided mah azz wuz gunna lvl blue mage. i juz abowt got sick of dragoon cuz damn G. i done errthing i cuh think of to make da job fun when i be partyin' but dat job iz juz str8 wack! I used to party as a DRG/RDM an help mofoz heal n smack while we fight and it wuz mad dope fo awhile till mofoz kept axin me to sub WAR or THF and damn sun dat shiz iz just str8 boring yo. If u sub war, yo azz iz just swingin yo weapon err 2 minutes. wack. if u sub thf yo azz iz still just swingin yo weapon. wack. so da day i tried to sub blue i had mofoz laughin at me n callin me st00pid n shiz. but noone bitched when i subbed RDM wtf yo!? So now i iz a blue mage cuz they mad azz strong. Blue mage iz mad lucky too. mad lucky.


Iron Pimp>> wuddup TBG.
TBG>> wut it do iron pimp?
Iron Pimp>> nada. me n Hoo Mjuu da titty toucher iz bout to throw a couple back u wanna join?
TBG>> no doubt!

rarely do Hoo ever be comin' out ta chill wit anybody cuz hez a sorry azz bitch. And cuz i iz alwayz tryin to rob hiz ass holla!

TBG>> when iz dat punkass gunna show up?
Iron Pimp>> any minute now chill dog. AND DON'T JACK HIS SHIT!
TBG>> aight aight. his azz always get away anyway who gives a shit?
Iron Pimp>> juz don't do it dog. aight?
TBG>> aight aight damn yo.

15 minutes later...

Hoo>> yo dogs.
TBG>> sup
Iron Pimp>> wut it do?
Hoo>> aw damn TBG is here? wtf for yo?
TBG>> relax mark ass trick. i aint here ta jack yo shit foo. juz wanna drink.
Hoo>> yea sure u iz.
Iron Pimp>> hez chill, Hoo, izzall good.
Hoo>> ...aight. i brought some yagudo drink. diz shit iz off da chizain!!!
TBG>> holla!!

Iron Pimp, Hoo Mjuu the titty toucher and TBG spend a good half hour boozin'

Hoo>> yo TBG check diz staff out sun. dem crackerz luv diz shit!
TBG>> wut iz it nikka?
Iron Pimp>> LOLZ datz da monster signa staff and Hoo dont never be bringin it wit him when he chillz in Giddeus.
TBG>> no shit? wut do dem crackaz usually pay fo' it?
Hoo>> shieeetttt. like 300k sometimes 500k LOLZ dum white boyz yo
TBG>> haha yea... no doubt...
TBG>> aight yo imma go grab a cold drink. u want one Hoo?
Hoo>> holla!
TBG>> Iron Pimp? u wanna drink?
Iron Pimp>> no doubt sun!
TBG>> aight G. ill be right back.

TBG walks into the cave to grab a cold one.
TBG uses silent oil.
TBG walks up behind Hoo Mjuu the Titty Toucher and Eyy Monn the Iron Pimp
TBG uses sheep song.
Hoo Mjuu the Titty Toucher and Eyy Monn the Iron Pimp are asleep.
TBG uses Head Butt
TBG uses Bludgeon

Hoo Mjuu the Titty Toucher takes 400 damage
Hoo Mjuu the Titty Toucher was defeated by TBG
Hoo Mjuu the Titty Toucher drops the Monster Signa Staff

TBG>> holla back!! dum muhfuckah! LOLZ

TBG casts Warp

TBG>> CYA!!

TBG vanishes...


LOL herez a rule fa ya'll mofoz. When u chillin wit me, don't be talkin bowt how much loot u got or where u keep it at. imma rob yo azz fo it LOL! Datz just str8 up st00pid. As ya'll can see aint no damn dragimp gunna sleep some trickz and steal they loot. I woulda got caught yo! Blue mage on da udder hand will mess yo shit UP. HOLLA! i think imma stick with diz job fa sho! WESSIDE!!!!! forniglamoodle!!!!

Quality Ideas

Ok. I like the fact that intelligent individuals can critically think about this situation and form solutions and spot problems before they occur. One of the best ideas I saw that I really liked was the anti-GS linkshell idea. However I would like to state that I have tried this once on the valefor server and it was number one for 5 months until it got flooded with a large number of strangers who wanted a piece of the pie for themselves. This ultimately led to the destruction of the linkshell, however trying again with a good head on my shoulders and some good input can lead to some serious progress. With enough members in an anti-gilseller linkshell it would be possible to take certain days of the week to camp gilsellers camps and KS on them or out camp their NMs. When it becomes clear to that task force that the gilsellers are resorting to cheating to out-camp you, simply make a GM call and watch as they get banned. I'm not too sure I want to give out any details as to the name of the linkshell that had gone as far as it did in valefor because it all sort of ended in bad blood and I don't wanna stir anything up. The original idea for the anti-gilseller LS was a great idea if it weren't for the hard, cold fact that people are greedy.

If you decide you wish to take up a LS like this on your servers let me know the names of the linkshells and which servers you are on. I would like to start something like this again however I know I am going to need a new spokesman on my behalf and I can't act like I'm heading it up. A lot of people just gave up on trying to stop them. I still think it can be done however. If we can compile our knowledge into one location we can have a place to record our victories against them or our failures, or even commonly used techniques for KSing and the best jobs to ruin gilseller exp parties, camping, you name it. If this is something you all want to pursue I will be right behind you. I fought them once with old friends I will gladly do it again.

A New Breed of Gilsellers

I know a lot if you prefer I write my posts as TBG and I will deliver a new one shortly but I really need to address an issue that has recently come to my attention as I'm sure you may have noticed as well. The gilsellers have been acting rather strange lately. Wouldn't you agree?

Here's what I've seen:

1) They have names. Actual typed out no-shit names. No more jumbled letters or randomized names. They have readable names.

2) They use emotes now. I believe this is an attempt to humanize themselves some more and make them much less detectable.

I'm sure some of you have noticed different aspects of the new breed but I personally study them on my server in an attempt to bring them down or inconvenience them in any way I can. Now SE banned 11,500 accounts for RMT related activity. I'm sure we all jumped for joy that day but honestly, how long did that one last? A day? Maybe 2?

I think you are catching my drift here...

Anyway, I have thought and mulled and brainstormed many times on how, we, as players can stop them ourselves. I have shared these ideas with in-game friends and my now long list of in-game enemies (enemies because they fully believe gilsellers help) on ways to stop gilseller influence on our server. You can ban them left and right but they will always come back. This leads to my next question. What the fuck can we do to stop them? Here are the most intelligent answers I got from highly experienced players. Sell for less at the AH. Sounds smart right? No. It's retarded. Don't lose sight of the fact that gilsellers sell gil and have an endless supply of it. This means they can easily just spam the price list to their liking all over again. Thus thwarting our effort in the first place. Here is another solution, "Don't buy from the AH. Just farm what you can and buy very little." A slightly more sound choice from the other however it still does not affect their influence by any real means. Most players cannot manage without the AH and wont be able to avoid it.

So keeping all of this information and knowing how the gilsellers operate and how they're able to affect our in-game economy and ruin our fun, I've come up with a method to eliminate gilseller influence in our daily lives by 100%. I've noticed we have websites with Dynamis schedules and Linkshell forums and loads of FFXI knowledge on quests and whatnot. So why not go with option number 2 and avoid the Auction House, keeping business strictly limited within linkshells and between linkshells. Here is how it works. Within your linkshell operations and forums keep a list of player's mules and the stock. Open an unlocked thread for other linkshells to view stock held by you and make offers to purchase items you are selling. This way you know, without a shadow of a doubt, the the person interested in purchasing your equipment is indeed a real player and not Chinese. If you maintain open links between eachother and continue to sell to one another in this manner the AH will, in time, pretty much empty out. Imagine that for a moment. An empty auction house. Some of you may be thinking, "That's too much work waahhh!" But ask yourself this question now. Isn't it MORE work to actually go farm and sell and farm some more just to meet the outrageous demands for items in the Auction House? This may also assist in the creation of "sales-only" linkshells that you would get a pearl for just to go shopping with. Essentially like a store run by players. Some linkshells could sell only for specific trades like beastcoins or metals instead of plain gil. If these ideas get implemented properly the only influence gilsellers will have on our servers is the fact that they take up party spots. In which case we can just camp right on top of them. Sound fun?

Now I am going to make a prediction. Because of the nature of my blog and the fact that some people really hate it when a person takes matters into their own hands I will get alot of negative comments from people in-game or in my comments section. Some people will even defend the gilsellers. To those who would say and do these things out of spite, know now that you are being ignored.

Aight yo, imma hook up an update lata so ya'll can laugh at sum shit aight? holla back!

I Wuz Da New Neo...

aight yo. i been suspended from da game. i know what ya'll iz thinkin'. "No, not TBG! What could he have done wrong?!" i can answer dat for ya. nothin'. i aint did nuffin wrong yo! yet SOMEHOW i got suspended. lemme give ya'll a lil rundown o' da eventz that occured last nite leadin to mah arrest.


TBG enters the chocobo stables.

TBG>> yo wtf. errthin in herr iz all black cept fo da NPCz n' shit.
TBG>> hmm. letz see sumthing.

TBG walks around the building haphazardly. Walking through anything and everything.

Player>> woah! how'd you get back there?
TBG>> i dunno sun. i juz can.
Player>> thats so l33t! i wanna get back there!
TBG>> i dun think u can homeboy.


TBG walks through a pillar and a wall and basically anything normal players cannot walk thru. He even walks to (J-10) in the chocobo stables, a place no player has gone before.

TBG>> there is no spoon....
Player>> LOLZ i wanna do it show me how to do it!
TBG>> i told u foo i dont know how! it juz works for me son!
Player>> are you using a wall haxxorz?
TBG>> dog. if i had a wall hack d'you really think i would only choose to use it at da chocobo stables? think about dat one.
Player>> ... so do you have a wall hack?
TBG>> im leaving.


TBG>> dats sum wierd shiz yo... i wonder if it be working in other buildings?

TBG enters every building in bastok to test his new found power. He can walk through anything in any building. He is now the Chosen One.

TBG>> i am da chozen one....holla....
TBG>> aight imma hit up kazham! gotta lvl diz BLU!!


TBG walks to the airport and falls through the area where there is supposed to be a bridge.

TBG>> damn yo wtf! I iz stuck!
TBG>> time fo da GM call holla!!!!!!


You have 11 calls ahead of you.


TBG>> aight ill juz chill here fa sho. i got patience.


10 minutes later...

[GM]nice>> hello TBG. i understand you cannot exit the airport?
TBG>> datz fa sho!
[GM]nice>> hmmm im sorry i didnt quite understand what you just said..
TBG>> uhh.. yes...that is...da...problem...yo!
[GM]nice>> ok can you show me?
TBG>> holla! look yo i can walk thru all diz shiznack!
[GM]nice>> hmm that is wierd...ok you will have to call tech support. they will better be able to assist you.
TBG>> aight but yo. i iz tryin to get to...urgh...kazham to party and...uurghh i can not make it in time...yo. can you help?
[GM]nice>> will lower jeuno be ok?
TBG>> word!
[GM]nice>> ill take that as a yes. one moment please.
TBG>> yo fa real! thanks yo!
[GM]nice>> you're welcome ^^


TBG appears in lower jeuno

TBG>> aight time to catch dat flight sucka!

TBG makes it to kazham just in time for his party. spends a good 3 hours killing things hits level 30 and then heads back home to bastok. He gets stuck in the airport again...

TBG>> wut the fiznuck! aight GM call time.

10 minutes later....

[GM]Fucking Dickhead McGee the First>> Greetings TBG i understand you are stuck in the airport?
TBG>> fa sho!
[GM]Fucking Dickhead McGee the First>> im sorry for this inconvenience. however i am clicking the door it works fine.
TBG>> yea but da problem is not da door'z ability to open. its da fack dat i cant even touch it yo LOL!
[GM]Fucking Dickhead McGee the First>> hmm. and why not?
TBG>> watch me.

TBG runs around the room walking through objects and the stairs needed to reach the door. His blessing is now a curse.

[GM]Fucking Dickhead McGee the First>> hmm it would seem you cant interact with objects.
TBG>> (no shit fucktard) uhh yea. i cant...can you warp me next to da door?
[GM]Fucking Dickhead McGee the First>> one moment.

TBG opens the door and walks out.

[GM]Fucking Dickhead McGee the First>> will that be all?
TBG>> haha nah thats not my problem yo. itz dat i can walk thru wallz n' shit dat iz messin me up!
[GM]Fucking Dickhead McGee the First>> i want to see you walk through a wall >.>
TBG>> aight yo check it!

TBG runs to Dragons Claws and walks through the desk and the wall and back again.

[GM]Fucking Dickhead McGee the First>> ok you will have to call tech support for that one.
TBG>> im a freak...
[GM]Fucking Dickhead McGee the First>> is there anything else i can help you with?
TBG>> nah im good thanks fo savin me yo!
[GM]Fucking Dickhead McGee the First>> ok bye.
TBG>>(damn ass-crunch)

TBG begins shouting

TBG>> yo if ya'll wanna see a blue mage do a REAL magic trick come down to dragons claws and watch me walk thru da walls!!
TBG>> im a freak!
TBG>> der is no spoon yo!
TBG>> da matrix has you!!
[GM]Fucking Dickhead McGee the First>> i would advise you not to do that. if someone reports you i will be forced to take action on you.
TBG>> oh snap. im sorry i stop now
TBG's homie>> haha yo TBG! lemme see u do it!
TBG to his homie>> aight yo come to da shop.
TBG's homie>> aight brt.
[GM]Fucking Dickhead McGee the First>> im going to make a note in your account. if you do not get this fixed in a timely manner i will be forced to take action.
[GM]Fucking Dickhead McGee the First>> if you had not reported this you would have been suspended. so get this fixed as quickly as you can.
TBG>> aight yo im all over it.
[GM]Fucking Dickhead McGee the First>> goodbye.
TBG>>aight yo...cya...

Homie shows up.

TBG>> yo check it dog.
Homie>> aight do diz lessee it.


TBG walks through the walls.

Homie>> WTH?!
TBG>> yea dog it works for any o' da dam buildings here. cept i get stuck in bastok airport cuz of da bridge...
Homie>> dats mad dope yo!
TBG>> yea it gets mad azz fun in da chocobo stables yo LOL!!
Homie>> coo coo. so hows life been yo?

TBG and his homie are talking about work n' udder smack and midway thru da convo....


*warp*

Area===Mordian Gaol===--


TBG>> ah damn i been here before...

TBG kneels in respect.

TBG>> ...(please god no dragons)

[GM]Fucking Dickhead McGee the First>> i told you not to do those things TBG...
TBG>> yo i cant even see da smack i get to walk thru yo!
TBG>> but i understand....
[GM]Fucking Dickhead McGee the First>> i will be forced to jail you until you get this matter resolved.
TBG>> did i do sumfin wrong? cuz i wastn cheating and i didnt get anything extra from it...cept a few laughs. am i not allowed to get extra laughs during da day?
[GM]Fucking Dickhead McGee the First>> i told you not to shout and you insisted on walking through the walls and doing these things anyway.
TBG>> yep...
[GM]Fucking Dickhead McGee the First>> you will remain here until its fixed.

TBG sits. TBG waves to [GM]Fucking Dickhead McGee the First.

TBG>> aight. imma be here awhile yo. im goin to bed and i got a 10 hour workday tomorrow. soo... yea.
[GM]Fucking Dickhead McGee the First>> goodbye
TBG>> (asshole yo)

You have been disconnected from playonline.



yo. what did i do wrong yo? did i cheat? did i get free gil? did i score sum NM? did i run faster? what did i do wrong yo? i showed my homeboy dat i could walk thru walls n shid and i get locked up fo' it! racialist yo!!! itz cuz im black! da [GM] had lower den normal hp tho. probably wuz gettin his azz banged by da udder GM's nahmeen? dat would explain why he was bein a dick. so now i aint allowed to play cuz my game glitched. next thing you know ill log in and be able to bend da damn game to mah will n shit. der is no spoon bitch! but till i talk to dem techy nerdz about mah issue imma be locked up fo' awhile. my choco iz gunna starve yo. yo if i did something dat i deserved to be locked up fo please lemme know. cuz i damn sho dont see it. damn GM. (Gay Masta)

My Cellie

today wuz a good day fa yo man TBG. im sure ya'll know abowt dat sidekick3 n' all. abowt how itz supposed to be dope as a mug and mad azz useful right? yea well i got one of dem doggone fonez and damn yo! it sucked mah azz! here's how it go:


TBG>> aight, time to check mah ims n' mah text messages holla!

TBG turns his fone on and plugs it in.
*5 minutes pass*

TBG>> hmm aight i guess it takes a lil bit to start up. i can holla at that.

*5 more minutes pass*

TBG>> aight, ok, no doubt. maybe a bad signal, no doubt.
TBG>> imma juz pass da time n' drop a log.

*TBG drops a log for about 15 minutes*

TBG>> ok lemme see dat signal!
TBG>> hmm dat aint no signal yo. it says its searching tho wtf...
TBG>> aight, i wait.

*10 minutes pass*

TBG>> yo wtf! DATS IT! imma call customer service mah nutz holla!

TBG calls CustomerService.....ringing...

Lady>> hello can i have your mobile number?
TBG>> no doubt its 1-800-imma-sexy-azz-muh-fuggah
Lady>>.... please sir your mobile number, area code first.
TBG>> oh..holla. its ***-***-****
Lady>> ok one moment while i pull up your account information.
TBG>> holla!
Lady>> please refrain from yelling in my ear sir.
TBG>> oop. mah bad yo.
Lady>> O...kay lets see here.... you have made 6 previous complaints before i see.
TBG>> no doubt yo diz fone iz wack!
Lady>> yes i see you have made other comments in regards to the phone including, busted, sorry, "white", crack-headed, and diz iz bullshiet.
TBG>> holla datz me aight!
Lady>> yes how can i help you get your phone back in order.
TBG>> nah im good i wanna exchange dis mess fo a working one yo.
Lady>> ooohh im sorry the phone cannot be exchanged once you've passed your 40 day warranty.
TBG>> nah im good. i wanna exchange ya'll dicked me ova wit diz shitty fone i juz want a new one like it.
Lady>> im so sorry to hear that. can i transfer you to a sidekick specialist?
TBG>>uhh aight, yea.
Lady>> one moment.

*waiting music....Nightrider*

TBG>> wtf...this is some gay ass shi...
Arabian Guy>> tankoo forr calling. how cahn aye be of sehvice?
TBG>> yo wtf!
Arabian Guy>> aye'm surry sir. plees cohme ahgin.
TBG>> yo my fone iz wack i need a new one.
Arabian Guy>> we arrre surry sir. you 'ave pahssed yourr forrtee day wahrrantee. i can nut ahsseest you. you may howeverr purchis a brahnd new phone if you lyke.
TBG>> nah yo gimme a new fone diz is wack!
Arabian Guy>> one moment plees sir.
TBG>> ...

*waiting music...Papa Don't Preach*

Lady>> thank you for calling can i have your 9 digit mobile number starting with area code?
TBG>> yo i juz spoke to u wtf yo!
Lady>> im sorry sir. you must be mistaken. how can i help you today?
TBG>> yo my fone is wack dammit!
Lady>> one moment lemme trans...

*click*

*45 minutes later*


Operator>> i understand your phone is broken and you wish to make a claim?
TBG>> holla! i slipped and it fell yo!
Operator>> oh im very sorry. let me transfer you to our claims manager.
TBG>> aight i can holla.
Lady>> hello thank you for calling can i have your ten didgit mobile number star....

*gunshot...gunshot...gunshot*


News Caster>>> today is a dark day indeed. a young black male was seen entering several cell phone retail stores and call centers firing at innocent employees. He was last seen on foot wearing an all red suit with a feathered hat. he is armed and dangerous. please take extra caution, he is black.



yo if i dont repost again anytime soon my azz iz in prison fa murdah! i cant take dis mess no mo' yo! it aint right to be dickin people da way they dick me yo! i iz trying to rid da world of deez evil muhfukkahz. ya'll betta post bail fo my azz. holla!

To Da Haterz!

it has come to my attention dat sum of you mofoz iz wantin' me to die yo. datz juz wack. itz not my fault u gotta hate da way you hate but you hate nonetheless and i juz cant holla at that. for as many of you mofoz dat do hate der is like 3 of you who show da love so itz all good.

now id like to make a note to da people dat show da luv.

the people dat iz alwayz hatin'...yea i done pimped all of dem. they hate cuz they think i iz gunna let dem keep da loot but i juz had to slap dem all ta get paid. str8 up. and da female haterz, yea, i diked em up and said i love dem too. ya'll see how dat can go holla!

i be wantin to esspress my desire to make mofoz laugh and smile but there iz always someone out der who be wantin to see people upset. give in to da TBG. if u iz out in town talkin wit ur peepz and suddenly you feel like ending yo sentences wit "holla!" itz cuz deep down you love TBG and you be luvin hiz pimpful wayz. dont hate. show luv.

i write all dis smack at work and itz not easy cuz dis is one side of me i cant kill. it juz comes out in dis blog like a mofo i aint never knew exsisted. if i had to attribute diz TBG to anything it would be da one day i got bit by a black kid in a fight. ever since den i been talkin funny. suddenly TBG came out n got me a bunch of hoz n i accepted his pimpitiness as my own. i use dis side of me to bang ya moms. fa sho. so da only way fa me to be normal in society iz to release him into dis blog or in yo momz so dat i can talk like a real person when i got werk n shid. nahmeen?


so there you have it. Now I can continue to live my daily life now that I've released him for the time being. Some people don't understand TBG. That's ok. You need to have some pimp in you to get it. Embrace it. Love it. Need it....sorry..